ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
