I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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