so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
