he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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