who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
