Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
