but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
