You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
