grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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