Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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