omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
