How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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