No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
