Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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