I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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