My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
