Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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