We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
