I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
