I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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