Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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