hotel room ftw
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Im part way to drunk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
