He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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