I wanna bring you to show and tell
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
