Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My cat gives me a boner
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
