do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
