You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
