She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
