So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
