i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
