if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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