quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
