hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
