3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
