I think im going to throw up on grandma
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
