whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
