I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
