Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
