i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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