I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
