another moral hangover. fuck.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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