He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
