i just google imaged poop.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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