Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
is that a dick in a sweater?
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