wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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