i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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