real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
