she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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