i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
