Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
