I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
